Odyssey

Poseidon Chilling: Just a couple of blokes maxing back.

Started reading 29th of April.

This book is written by Gareth Hinds and is based on “Homer’s epic poem.”

I wanted to read it because I have no idea about the Greek mythologies and wanted to find out about it but didn’t want to be pissed off by non-modern english.

This book walks the fine line of BS poetic language and modern language well. It’s drawn nicely and it’s accessible. I read it in one sitting which is pretty good because I honestly thought it would be crap and that I would have to struggle through it.

I liked it. You like it now, too.

Did you know that there is a theory that Greek myths are based on Satan’s history and that Zeus is Satan? Now you do and I read it thinking this.

“All beggars come in Zeus’ name.”

 

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – Volume One

Captain Nemo: Rocks cities.

Started Reading 23rd of April.

This story is written by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. I think. They wrote the credits in an ye olde times way and I was gonna say it’s funny and well done but right now it’s a real drag to get this right.

This story is about the gathering of Alan Quartermain, Captain Nemo, Mrs Harker, The Invisible Man and Jekyll and Hyde. They are recruited to work for the English Royal family to grab up an anti-gravity mineral called Cavorite.

Top story, well written and lots of fun.

That is all.

Oh wait. I like Alan Moore. I wish he would recruit me for the Illuminati.

Seven Soldiers of Victory

Mister Miracle: Not in it.

Started Reading 20th of April.

Seven Soldiers of Victory is authored by Grant Morrison who also wrote the JLA book I entered into this journal a while back.

It seems, and I’m not going to check it now, that Seven Soldiers is a reboot (yeah, that’s what they’re calling ‘rehash’ these days) of a DC series from back in the day. Would you like to know more? Go look it up, write it down then go send it to someone who cares. It ain’t me.

The artwork is very nice and it is written very well, but…

I got it for Mister Miracle! No, I’m not a fan of his! No, I’ve never read a single story with him in it but he is someone I have always wanted to read about! This book has his picture on the back and I figured that he would be in it! It doesn’t!

Shenanigans, man! I think I’ve been cheated!

Ten million pages of comic in this book and all they give him is one page of character development sketch in the back! Who cares about those stupid rough drawings anyway? They were redoing characters that were already made anyway, what’s to develop? And why would I care?

They don’t want you to steal stuff but then they do you like this.

This world is a twisted maze…

Naruto 19 – Successor

Buried Lead: No mention of an epic fight on the cover. Like a boss.

Started Reading 19th of April.

The title of this edition of the series is appropriate but it’s not the best thing about this book.

It’s got one of the most massive fights I’ve seen in all manga. It’s got a huge slug VS a huge toad VS a huge snake. It’s awesome! I read the whole thing twice because it is very awesome.

If you were going to buy just one book out of a series I reckon it would be this one.

 

Naruto 18 – Tsunade’s Choice

Nice Jacket: What's going on here? Who knows...

 

Started Reading April 17

I read this passing the time recuperating from my terrible, mortal illness. I’m okay now, though, thanks for asking.

It has a gifted surgeon in it who is afraid of blood. Didn’t make sense then like it doesn’t make sense now.

I’ve read it, now I have reviewed it. Some things I just read because I want to read them, you know, for fun. This was fun. You can’t ask me to review playing Street Fighter IV because I’ve played it before and I only play it because it’s fun. Same thing with this book.

Whoa Easy There Pardner! You’re In An Awful Hurry To Make That Mistake!

Nine Things To Consider Before Falling In Love And Into Marriage

or

Whoa Easy There Pardner! You’re In An Awful Hurry To Make That Mistake!

True Love. Marriage. Disney has alot to answer for. Let’s try and separate fact from fiction and come at this thing like adults.

Finding The Perfect Partner Is Not A Goal – It Is A Dream.  A goal is something that one can concretely work towards through hard work and effort. This does not include getting a rough piece of clay male or female and ‘moulding’ or ‘chipping away” at them into a perfect partner. A dream is a perfect ideal, it is a fantastic Utopia. In an imperfect world, compromise is essential. But there’s no negotiating with the Clock Biological that just keeps tick-tocking along louder and louder.

A Drowning Person Clutches At Straws. Tempus Fugit, don’t it? It just keeps fugiting right along and it doesn’t slow down for anything. Between the ages of 27 and 30, people start to feel like time’s getting tight on them. They feel a pressure to get married so that after they turn 30 they can start having kids. It’s appropriate. Expected. Having that pressure on a person makes them do crazy things. See things that aren’t there and hear things that will never be said. Mr or Mrs Right, could just be Mr or Mrs Right Now! They see thirty creep up over the back fence and they start making lists.

The Myth Of “The Perfect Partner List.”  Lists are made when people go to the supermarket and they are are spoilt for choice. Lists are made when a customer puts in an order at the local BMW dealer and they want to order specific types of upholstery, trimmings and extras with their new X6. Human beings are not built to lists, nor can they be confined to lists. The list writers should consider whether all their attributes can be similarly confined to a list. Then in an gesture of full disclosure, consider if an adequate list can be made of all their own faults. Like a caveat emptor. Then ask themselves what has more practical value, the list or the paper it’s written on?

Would You Like Fries With That? Say all the boxes get ticked and a couple do marry or fall in love and live happily ever after, forever and ever and amen to that – then what? The fairy tale ends there because life gets back to normal with Snow White doing dishes and they fight constantly now because the magic is gone and that is boring. But that’s the prize, isn’t it? Say this magical Holy Grail of True Love and or Marriage was obtained, would it be enough? Does that make a body complete? For how long? Five years? Ten years? A decade? Really? What about forever? Okay, what about forever and ever? Does that even happen these days? Did it ever happen? What did they used to do back in the day?

What’s Love Got To Do With It? What’s her father got to do with it? Was he there? Wasn’t he there? Did she ever get his approval? What about his attention?  Does his mother still wash his clothes? Does she fix his hair? Will she make him a sandwich right now if he yelled at her through his bedroom door? What does the mother say about the father and vice versa? What are they like together? Are they together? What do the grandparents think of their children’s relationship? Why? Is it what they wanted? Did they just want their children to be happy? 

Consider The Need. Why does anyone need to be in love? People know it is an emotion, right? Just a feeling? And all emotions are fleeting? People take happiness as a given in life, like it’s a basic human right. But it’s not. The pursuit of happiness is. The pursuit of love is a right, and happy hunting to those in the chase, but there is no guarantee that they will actually find, let alone catch what they are after. Should they happen to know what that is. Chase freely, hunt safely, but realize no one catch may be the one that is perfectly suited.

All My Friends Are Getting Married. Quail are bred for sport, to be hunted. Lemmings follow their friends to the same end as all the other lemmings before them. Same as cows bred for meat. Same as chickens in batteries. Stuck in a cycle. One following the other’s damn fool idea to their predetermined end. Nothing lasts forever. Try not to be the first over the edge, or the first to put your head in that noose. Watch someone else be first through the honeymoon period.

Can’t live without ‘em. Can’t live with ‘em. If a person is missing a leg, marrying a person with two legs won’t make the other whole. If any adult has ongoing, deep-seated issues that need dealing with on personal level, getting married will not solve the original issue, in many cases it will only exacerbate the original problem and children will only pass that issue on to the next generation. If a person can’t live with themselves, they can’t live with anyone else.

Nobody Is Owed True Love Or Marriage. Some Japanese guy said it best: “My true love died before I was born, and my closest friend will come about after my death.” The Japanese are pretty wise. Mr Miyagi was from out that way. Think about it.

Character Sketch

Character One

Jade: Jade is the first guy to freak out and he actively looks for opportunities to do so. He always has something smart to say and doesn’t consider his surroundings or audience before he voices his opinions. This lack of thought before he speaks is an essential part of Jade’s character. He speaks from a heart that is cynical, jaded and mistrusting. His only concern is for himself and he is an unapologetic coward.

He doesn’t consider himself to be part of the group or that he is stuck with them, rather he is going through this terrible situation and the rest are just scenery, props he may be able to use. He lacks any form of empathy with the group and simply does not recognise anyone elses humanity. This is not a choice for Jade, he does not at his essence give any regard to anything outside his own skin.

Jade represents a an attitude of greed, selfishness and if his character was to be drawn as opposed to described it would look like a black hole that sucks in every useful thing and only spits out bitter remarks that are of no use to anyone or anything.

Words: 199

Character Two

Firm: Firm is a natural-born leader. Unfortunately, for those who interact with him day to day, these genius-level leadership skills are not on display at all times. Like a diamond whose colours are only brought out by the darkest background, Firm’s more excellent qualities remain hidden.

To his work colleagues at the Electronic Inventory Store, which is an equivalent to Dick Smith or JayCar Electronics, he is a super-nice guy, a real people person. He draws people towards him because he has no ego keeping them away, they stay around him because he is a warm person who makes others feel like he is there for them and all his interactions in word and deed are personally tailored to them.

Firm has never had any “leadership training,” neither in a military nor corporate sense. He acts on instinct and does not secretly plot or scheme to keep his leader’s mantle. Firm doesn’t consider himself to be the groups leader, he is a mouthpiece for their thoughts and he echos these thoughts back to the group to gain a consensus and plan of action. He knows the groups strength is in its various eyes, ears and capacity for rational thought.

Words 202

 

Short Scene

  The group approach the shopping centre’s west exit which has a heavy metal roller door closed down over it. They approach in disbelief, none more disbelieving than Jade who walks right up to it and starts pushing on it. The roller door moves back and forth but there is no way they are getting through it and Jade’s efforts are causing the door’s rattling and clanging to echo hollowly through the rest of the mall.

“Well, what exactly the fuck is this shit here?” Jade asks the roller door.

Firm, signaling the rest of the group to wait where they are, also approaches. He heads towards the nearest operator’s panel, looking for and flicking knobs and buttons hoping to make the barrier roll up, but it has no life in it at all.

“What’s your name?” Firm looks down and asks Jade.

Jade turns to Firm while still crouched down trying to pull the lock off the gate, “What the fuck am I, back in AA? My name is Jade. What’s your name?”

Firm extends his hand out to Jade, “My name is Firm. Pleased to meet you.”

Jade looks up, mouth open, drops the gate’s lock in disbelief and raises his hand up to meet Firm’s, “What the shit is this? You wanna be best friends now?”

“I’ll take anything I can get right now, Jade.” Firm says as he shakes Jade’s hand.

Firm takes the handshake as an opportunity to enter Jade’s personal space, crouches down beside him and says very quietly, “ There’s a killer in here, Jade.”

“No shit.”

“I’ll level with you, I’m about to panic.”

“Join the fucken club.” Jade is still having trouble believing that he is having this conversation. Who cares what this guy has to say? Why would he want to know Jade’s name?

“If we panic the killer will come to us, he’ll know where we are and he’ll come and kill us like he did the others.” Firm says plainly, staring directly into Jade’s eyes.

“How do you know that sick fuck’s not with us?” Jade gestures back at the group.

“No one here is covered in blood.” Firm replies.

Jade stops to think about this for a moment and looks back at the group to make sure that none of them have any traces of blood on them.

“Okay,” Jade says slowly to Firm. He is beginning to see Firm’s reasoning and he decides to listen to him for a little while longer.

“Let’s stay together as a group. If we stay calm, stay quiet, we’ll get out.” Firm proposes to Jade.

“Okay.” Jade says with no commitment at all.

They stand together, united now with a common purpose. They begin to walk back toward the group. Firm has made an ally and Jade has got something to lean on, making his mental position more secure. The group see them approach and notice that they are now united and this gives them hope in a strength that only unity can offer.

Words: 502

Crossing Midnight: Cut Here

Minor Title: Pictures in the book are better than on the cover.

Started Reading March 29th

This story is written by Mike Carey and is about a set of twins that are owed to a demon from a past family debt.

It looks good, which is weird for an American comic about Japanese mythology. The story is also very interesting and moves along really quickly. If I can get my hands on the rest of the series I will read them.

I’m still sick like a dog in Afghanistan so this is short and sweet and sickly.

 

 

MAD Magazines 466 and 463

Started Reading 10th of April.

I read the following MAD magazines yesterday because I was sick like a dog all day. I was in bed, dying, couldn’t get anywhere near a bottle of hooch so I got high on pseudoephedrine and read MAD magazine.

High as a kite as I may or may not have been, there were only a few funny bits. The funny bits made me laugh out loud. That’s one thing that I can rely on MAD to give me. A laugh out loud. Happens at least once in every magazine. MAD and 9Gag are the only things that I can go to and be guaranteed a LOL.

Quality Cover: Imported from America because Australian artists can't match it.

 

MAD 466

Funniest part in this magazine is on page 4, where it gives a rating for mature video game ratings as:

Depictions of Brouhahas and/or Hubbubs.

Both of these words are funny and they register as funny in the brain before the brain has a chance to think things through.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Australian Art: Why not import the WHOLE MAD magazine from America? It's heaps better!

 

MAD 463

The most hilarious part in this magazine is on page 36: The Story of the Deathbed Donkey…and the Rage of Sorrow.

It’s about a donkey that turns up and people are about to die and when they do it wrecks the joint.

Seeing the donkey peering into a doctor’s office, having people pretend they aren’t dead so the donkey doesn’t trash the joint and having people yell, “That’s one crazy sensitive donkey” as it trashes the place, I found to be hilarious.

 

 

 

JLA: New World Order

Green Tubes: This scene never actually happens in the book.

Started Reading 9th of April.

JLA: New World Order is written by Grant Morrison who has also written comics like The Invisibles, Batman: Arkham Asylum which sold over 600,000 copies and is the highest selling original graphic novel ever.

New World Order is not such an inspired book. It is a good read. It’s always good to see all the JLA heroes fighting against some of their equals. One of the problems of coming up with stories for a comic with characters that have ridiculous powers is giving them an opponent who can test them. Morrison does that in this book. Which is nice of him.

The best part of this book is seeing the 90′s Green Lantern. Not sure what happened to him but I always thought he looked the best with the face-plate and the very 90′s logo on his chest. They got rid of the original Hal Jordan and they’re always banging on about how he is the best and all the other Green Lantern’s look up to him. I don’t know why the get a great character and then put him in the past.

This book is okay. Not a bad read. Superman isn’t in it much so it makes it better than average.